As the nights grow longer and the air colder, I feel the need to start writing again.
So, for my first entree too you , I want to teach you gun fighting and knife fighting.
Believe me when I say I have spent a lot of money in the past going to schools and seminars
so I could learn all these things.
30 years of learning and teaching has allowed me to condense all of my vast knowledge into a course that is easy to understand and perfect for the current crop of ADD addled people .
We are going to start with
Gun Fighting.
This is a 101 class, basic
More advanced to follow.
Let's begin.
Step 1; Buy a gun
Step 2; Read the little book thing that comes in the guns box.
Step 3; Figure out how to load the gun, put the cartridges in it.
Step 4; Find out what end the bullets come out,
this is usually the one with a hole in it.
mark this end with a piece of bright tape so you don't make mistakes.
Step 5; Point end with tape at bad guy
Step 6; Pull trigger
( the book in the box will show you what this is)
until bad guy stops doing
what it was you wanted him to stop doing.
Step 7; Call 911
( look it up in the phone book or call directory assistance if you don't know the number).
Congratulations, you just graduated the
TimDum School of basic gun fighting!
You can now send your check for $19.95 payable to me for your diploma.
You will receive it promptly in 6-8 weeks after your check clears.
Your advanced course starts tomorrow.
Please review this basic course as many times as you need, there is no additional cost or obligation.
Courses to follow will teach you how to be "High Speed", "Low Drag", "Tip of the Spear",
"Boots on the ground", Ninja" and many more.
Thank you for attending the TimDum School of Gun and Knife Fighting, please tell you friends.
All instructors at the TimDum academy are fully licensed by the state of insanity.
By reading this statement you agree to hold harmless the writer of this blog for any accidents, acts of god, unwanted pregnancies or transmission of any viral infections.
Till tomorrow,
Stay Thirsty my Friends.
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